He’s a Goober – natorial Candidate
≈(ģ)
“They are a street gang, a violent secret society, a radical revolutionary front. I’ve even heard some people say they’re a cult, but they’re a danger to you, a danger to this fine state of
The crowd in front of my podium cheered. Damn, I looked good in that suit.
“Our prison system is eroding; criminals are spilling out onto the streets, and unless someone does something— until someone does something, none of us are safe. Ladies and gentlemen, I am that someone.”
They were eating out of the palm of my hand, dude!
“If I am elected governor, I promise that you will all be safe. I will hire more police officers and give them bigger budgets…”
I flipped the channel.
“... but could Brinkman win?”
Could I win? Uh— yeah, dude! It’s easy to win when you’ve got a puppet enemy dancing in front of the people and holding their attention. And the other guy I was running against used to be a pop singer. I had this thing in the bag.
“Breaking news here at the top of the hour. The president has just been found dead. Apparently he was eating some cheaze-tose in his kitchen when one of them accidentally entered his windpipe, choking him to death. More on this as it develops.”
Oh, gravy. Dangle what I really want right in front of my face. I reached for the phone to call John and tell him we were going after the post of president earlier than planned. But then I remembered that the stupid vice president would just take over for him.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been informed of a touchingly tragic turn of events. We have just received word that the vice president has committed suicide. A note was found alongside the corpse of the vice president indicating that he did not wish to live without his beloved commander in chief.”
YES. I picked up my cell phone and called John. We were going for the big prize.
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