So Nanowrimo's here again. Pardon the low post count, but I've been, like really busy.
But what was, until recently my favorite time of year is here again and I've been writing a novel for the past two weeks. Only thing is I hate it.
It fucking sucks.
I started, having this great idea all year long, then abandoning it the last second before day 1 because I thought it was too similar to one of my favorite cartoon shows. So i came up with another idea and got really excited about that about a week before November. I actually wrote the first few chapters during week one.
That sucked. It was going to be shit, I could tell, I couldn't inject suspense into every day situations more than a handful of times, which was what I needed to do for a whole book.

So then I tried Project: Gold My unicorn story. The story I've begun several times, and each one I get fed up and hate it and I quit.
Great choice right?
The characters are all on dimensional, the dialogue jumps around to whatever I feel like, and I hate writing it. I HATE IT!
I hate it more than I.M. Meen hates clever children...
So I'm thinking of quitting.
I'm a municipal liaison, one of the people in charge, this year but it sucks. Everything I tried to do fell through because I didn't have enough time with work. and since I live out of town, i can't go to the write ins they have during the week. and since Beeville is such a shitstain, there's no place therein i can write comfortably. I don't even enjoy the NAnowrimo meetings anymore. I sat through the one today just wishing everyone would shut up and leave me alone.
I used to live for the meetings.

Maybe I'm just having a shitty day. Some buttfucked peice of human cuntswallop woke me up at god knows what time on SATURDAY!!!! by tapping on my bedroom window. I ignored the hell out of whoever the dumb fucker was, but they still woke me up, ruined my sleep, and I guess My whole day.
Now all I can think of is hatred and rage.
fuck this shit.

So I'm thinking of quitting. part of me knows that If I do, this story will have bested me again, but If i don't I may never want to try to write this story the right way.
Project gold won't really work as a novel, because I intended it to be a videogame. so what do I do? keep writing something which will, inevitably be worthless?
Maybe it's not about the destination, it's about the journey, but right now, I really need to have something in hand to validate my tremendous exertions.
I'll let you know what I decide... fuckers

Old Man Yells at Cloud

Dissidia: A Conflicted review by a conflicted gamer.

Dissidia, latin for ‘conflict’ or some shit, is an apt name for a game that causes me so much cognitive dissonance I've considered getting a corpus callostomy. But enough with the psychology jokes. Yes, it’s by Square Enix, whose games are fairly consistently fun to play, but horrible if you have any intent to understand the story. It features like 20 or so guys, many of whom you may know, and those you don’t look cool enough to try out for the first time. The game’s main advertising point is that you‘re supposed to choose your side in the “eternal conflict.” It even comes with a nifty reversible cover art, depending on whether or not you wanna play as a good or bad guy.

So is it a good game? In other words, should you buy it?

Well for a game with so much emphasis on choosing your side there is no option to play story mode on the bad guys side (which, I’m estimating, at least HALF of Dissidia buyers will want to do).

"What will you fight for?" the tagline asks, as long as you choose to fight for good.

Sure you can play as almost everyone in the arcade and quick battle modes, but it's no good without the bad guys story, in my opinion.

To add to that limit of characters, you may not be able to play as your favorite good guy right off the bat. Apparently not all good guys are created equal, and the difficulty for each character seems arbitrarily assigned, with Hero of light and Terra being the highest difficulty and Tidus and Cloud being the easiest (take THAT, fanboys; apparently Cloud’s something of a pussy, eh?).

Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining that Bad guys can’t play story mode, because the story really sucks. I mean with a game like this, you knew it would suck, but SERIOUSLY. Be prepared to skip every cutscene after the intro one (which, by the way, is very cool and really looks like the gameplay, and has absolutely nothing to do with the story[which may be the secret to its coolness]). A little aside, but Squenix’s writers don’t seem to get that nobody can care about their characters and their shallow inner conflicts until after we’ve been through shit with them, and even the most die hard fan hasn’t played most of those old games in a while.

The gameplay, as with pretty much every squeenix game (not counting FFXII, that snore-fest), is fun, challenging and layered. Casual gamers can button mash against easy enemies, and hardcore ones can master every single aspect of combat. AND THERE ARE A LOT. There’s a buncha shit to remember, but start with either Tidus or Cloud, and you’ll learn it at a good pace. It’s definitely not your average fighting game, and characters have extensive customization options, ranging from skills to equipment to summons (don’t think mini-movie summons like in the other games; these summons are just pictures and effects, the way I feel summons are supposed to be) and most items can be shared with everyone.

There are some additional behind the battle aspects to the game, but like all the other final fantsy games, they're really hard to grasp at first. That's okay, though since they're really just the keys to getting better stuff after you know what you're doing.

As far as extra features go, there’s not a whole lot. Online play is online play. There are passwords that unlock “friend cards” bearing the names of other characters from FF games (don’t be fooled—these cards will NOT allow you to fight against or as their namesakes—they are simply high level CPU players of characters already in the game). Friend cards are also used so you can fight CPU controlled copies of your IRL friends’ equipment setup.

The only unlockables are 2 secret characters; Gabranth for the villains (from FFXII, the worst game ever made) and Some little midget scarecrow (an NPC from FFXI). There is also one (1) change of clothes for every character. Doesn't really matter; they all dress like fags anyway. J/K! I am such a bitch!

Now for the most important part of my Review: Constructive Criticism!

With a name like Final Fantasy, there’s no chance that this is the last Dissidia we’ll be seeing.

First of let me start by saying, WHY IN TH EFUCK WAS THIS GAME NOT MADE FOR PS3?!?!?!! IT gets kind of hard to see on the PSP’s small screen when enemies run or are flung way the hell away, but this problem is easily fixed if you have a component output cord and an HDTV. World of difference. Also, the control scheme could use more buttons.

Second, when I first heard about this game, I envisioned “Final Smash Fantasy: Brawl.” As it is, it’s pretty close, but something I would like to see are diversions like “Race to the finish” and/or “Break the targets.”

Finally, in this day and age, how can you make a PSP game without DLC? Especially one of this nature? Give us some extra levels, or modes, or something.

So buy or not? Well, I’d say yes; on the contition that you are okay with leveling up th ebad guys through arcade mode and taking forever and not playing story mode as bad guys. FYI: I’m not buying it.

How John Hates Beeville pt.1

(I wrote it using my internet name, because of the meter)

All the hicks down in Beeville liked Beeville a lot. But Ensis, who'd just moved to Beeville... did NOT.
Ensis hated Beevile, the whole Beeville City--now please don't ask why, but It's really a pity.
It could be the scores of overweight whores. IT could be the seven bars and zero bookstores.
But I think that the most likely reason in sight, may have been that it's so boring come Friday night.
But whatever the cause of his scowl or his frown, Ensis sat on the internets hating the town.
Staring out from his apartment window he'd glower at the great big, enormous Beeville water tower.
For even the tapwater, here in Beeville, was shitty, and vile, adn tasted like swill.
"And the library is closed after six..." Ensis thought. "Tonight is Friday! My week's all but shot!"
Then he cursed, with his Ensis-teeth viciously gnashing, "I somehow must find a party worth crashing!"
But tonight, Ensis knew, all the dumb Beeville hicks would head to the bars--and they'd play with their dicks!
And he cursed their name, "Oh, those pricks, pricks, Pricks, PRICKS!!!"
That's one thing he hated; he and hicks did not mix.
Then the Bee's, young and old, would sit down and drink. They'd drink jungle juice from a dirty old sink.
Which was something about which Ensis did not want to think!
But then they did something that got him really mad!
Every single Bee-villain, thinking they were all bad,
would get in their cars, praying that they would start,
And the dumb Beeville Jerkoffs would go to Wal-Mart!
And they'd shop and they'd shop, and they'd shopshopShopSHOP!
And the more Ensis thought of this lame Friday shop, the more Ensis thought, "It must come to a stop!
I can't drive to Corpus; it's too late by now! But I must use this night to do something... but HOW?"

info: there will never be a part 2

It's OVER!

WLT Conference: Final Score

Agents Queried: 5
Agents acepted: 3
Book propsals given out: 2/5
Business cards accepted: 6
Buiness cards given: 8
Meals paid for @ hotel: 0
Drinks paid for at hotel: 6
Forks: 21
Single day fork score: 16

Hours of sleep... don't ask.

I'll start posting some of the things I learned after I've had a while to rest and process the data...

Conference: Final day

Well, the conference is over. I got 2 agents who asked to see UHA (one of them took my proposal) and one just took a proposal. I also got some leads on other agents.

All in all, I was very pleased. I met a lot of new people, learned some great things, and have a few prospects to check into for the future.
Oh, and I didn't find out 'till the last day that my room dfirectly overlooks my Mom's old work, HealthSouth, where I used to hang out as a kid.

Gonna screw around the city a little, then head home and post a full update there.
Thanks for reading!

Day 2 :Part 2

So I've already learned a lot, much of which I plan to put into practice shortly. The seminars are great, with a lot of material I plan to sift through and post later, But so far the best one I've been to was the one about graphic novelry with Alan J. Porter, Tony Salvaggio, and Rick Klaw.


Basic Rundown: Nothing is concrete; every editor takes queries in a different way, manuscript formatting is not imperative, and self publishing can be a viable way of getting your work exposure.

But the allure is twofold for me--the graphic aspect and the challege. I'd done some research on graphic novels in the past and actually tried to write one of the scripts; its very difficult.

In other news, I had my agent meeting today with the very gracious Cameron McClure. I thought I had bombed when she told me how confused she was over my plotline, but she asked to see the first twenty pages (probably on account of my killer book proposal...).

Day 2: WLT

Well, Day 2 is going a bit more smoothly. The seminars are good (I got a lot of good tips for this blog, as a matter of fact) and I finally got the internet thing fixed.


I'm up to seventeen forks now, and I've even spoken to some other authors and agents. Looking forward to my official consultation with Miss Cameron McClure at 2:55pm, So if you happen to look at the clock today adn notice that its around that time, toss back a beer for me. You know, I should really get some more liquor; this is supposed to be a vacation, after all...

More to come.

PS--
I've made a lot more videos during my hiatus, but this is the best one:

All the vocals are done by me. That's right, I can sing AND edit audio.

The WLT Coverage Begins!

Well, it's day one of the conference here at teh Sheraton Austin Hotel, and so far all I've managed to do is steal a fork. My personal computer won't work with internet due it being double booked wioth someone else's IP address. So posts may turn out to be dissappointing. I'm writing currently from a courtesy terminal in the lobby.



First impressions are not good. The "exhibition hall" is reminiscent of a high school job fair, only twice as depressing. Seven little tables with cheap graphics store banners and vanity press books. most of them are for vanity presses(I can't get too close, or else they'll talk to me, so I'm just assuming).



The cocktail party, in progress as I type this entry, features many fine appetizers but is full to bursting with people. And it's antisocial John all over again. I really should have seen this coming; It's just that I can't bring myself to speak to anyone. What do I say to them? I can't tell them about myself; I don't really want them to know anything, and I CERTAINLY don't want to hear their fucking shpiel about their boring ass self.

So whatever. Great way to waste $400. But I came here to unwind at the very least, so fuck it I'm going swimming.

*UPDATE: I just went back to the reception and stoel 2 more forks. I'm gonna return and see if I can get three, Like Jacks.

*UPDATE 2: I stole 3 and then four. I have a pocket full of nine forks. This is getting too easy. I'll have to find another way to keep myself amused. (Don't worry, I'm not gonna keep the forks. I'll leave them in my room when I check out; They don't match my flatware.)

Antebellum

You know, I started this blog with the intent of writing every day, and not caring whether people read it or not. Well, now I have a job that forces me to write every day and I'm using my blog for promotion, so it has turned out to be exactly the opposite of what it was intended to be.

That's not so bad a thing. Except that, in order to raise the quality of posts and make pictures and videos, I've had to spend more time on each, or at least, I've been pressuring myself to. But somewhere in the confusion I have let Malblogia slide into the realm of the forgotten. This is my first update in months.

But with the Literary conference tomorrow, I have a mission. Get UHA published (above, you se the cover sheet/ poster for my proposal, yay!) and I promised myself and my Freinds at Nanowrimo that I would provide coverage of hte event in as close an approximation to journalistic style as I can muster.

But we'll see how that turns out.

Anyway, sleep well Dark Paladin for tomorrow you die!

Special Post on Location!

Howdy, Internet!

Your correspondent with a special report on location from SPRING BREAK 2009! I'm typing live from the courtesy computer terminal of teh Holiday inn on Mustang Island. Loads of Fun!

how ever did i get off work, you ask? Well, let's just say those kids aren't always out of line for breaking the rules...

More To Come!

*Update!

Wow. A much later update, but still. I had more fun than I have in a long time, and as the ICING on spring break-cake, Pokemon came out on the last Day!

Don't remember if I've mentioned this on here before, but I'm going to the WLT Literary Conference in June to pitch UHA. and I'm currently refining my book proposal and manuscript.

Anyway, hre's my latest Video.

Okay... another long time...

..but I'm back again, adn with good news to boot!

I am the proud owner (well technically renter, but no time for semantics) of my own apartment AND--here's the good part--I have INTERNET, LOL, INTERNET.

So posts from now on should be a little more frequent adn meatier.

Speaking of which, my latest Youtube poop is hot off hte... toilet. Proverbial toilet, that is.

In any case, feast your eyes on, "YTPMV: Part of MAH BOIII- Fulversion!"

Enjoy!


More a little later, when a few of my *secret plans are coming together....

WOW! It's been a long time...

...but I'm back again. Work ha made progress on my projects slow, plus I don't have internet at home, so there has been little to post of late.

But I have a surprise...

Like it? It's a tree made out of cow bones. My cousin and I made it as a gift for our grandparents. They freaking loved it! And it was so much fun, crushing all those bones!

In other news, I have another poop: YTPMV: Ballad of the King


It had been bouncing around in my head for a while, good to get it out.

And finally... I read UHA3. And It was good. There's still a lot of work to be done, but More later.
Throw more irons in the fire, and stoke up the flames--I've got some new secret plans to complete...