SCHOOL OF "SHUT UP"
In recognition of successful completion of curriculum, this document hereby is to certify that the undersigned is an official graduate of the school of shut up and can shut up at anytime, in any way, forever. In the act of shutting up, you are allowing others to destroy themselves, and sidestepping the gooey mess of their combusted innards, metaphorically speaking. This diploma qualifies you to get 10% off on ice cream, but only on November 31st. Also you have super powers, although they won't work if you don't believe. Another condition is that you can't show this diploma to anyone, or else the spell is broken. By the stroke of midnight the magic is at its most powerful, except in Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and some parts of Canada. That about covers it, so congratulations. Now you should imagine some kind of dramatic ending themesong to symbolize the completion of your journey. Sister Christian Oh the time has come And you know that you're the only one To say O.K. Where you going What you looking for You know those boys Don't want to play no more with you It's true You're motoring What's your price for flight In finding mister right— on second thought, that song's kind of depressing. How about this: My friend's got a girlfriend Man he hates that bitch He tells me every day He says "man I really gotta lose my chick In the worst kind of way…" No, that one doesn't really capture the mood. Estuans interius ira vehementi in amaritudine loquor mee menti: factus de materia, cinis elementi similis sum folio, de quo ludunt venti. Cum sit enim proprium viro sapienti supra petram ponere sedem fundamenti, stultus ego comparor fluvio labenti, sub eodem tramite nunquam permanenti. Feror ego veluti sine nauta navis, ut per vias aeris vaga fertur avis; non me tenent vincula, non me tenet clavis, quero mihi similes et adiungor pravis. Mihi cordis gravitas res videtur gravis; iocis est amabilis dulciorque favis; quicquid Venus imperat, labor est suavis, que nunquam in cordibus habitat ignavis. Via lata gradior more iuventutis inplicor et vitiis immemor virtutis, voluptatis avidus magis quam salutis, mortuus in anima curam gero cutis. Yeah. That's a good one. Well, it's getting late, I guess I'd better let you go. It was good talking to you. Good luck. Congradtulations!
Some Important Guy's Signature _____ ___
(You Sign Here)
