I played KHII again, all the way through, and it's time for a(n
at-this-point-completely-unneccessary-seeing-as-how-the-game-has-been-out-forever) review.
So, I played the original Kingdom Hearts--it was awesome--defined an era of my (late) childhood. And i waited faithfully for three years until the sequel.
Maybe that was too long.
Maybe I was too old.
Maybe it just wasn't as good.
But for some reason, I didn't enjoy this game as much as I thought. It's kiddie. Moreso than the original which, despite being about kids, dealt metaphorically with some heavy concepts and was enjoyed by many grownups--one of whom recommended the game to me.
Kingdom Hearts II plays like a bad anime--every bad anime you've ever seen. In fact, this accounts for the large number of bad-anime-loving-weeaboo KH fanpersons out there.
For one thing, the dialogue is a little on the... dumb side for lack of a better word. It can be painful to listen to, a failing made worse by the editing, which leaves HUEG gaps between each line, even during the most tense and dire cutscenes. You know, the kind of thing where the bad guy cuts himself off mid-sentence about half a second before the good guy yells, "stop!"
And, of course, there are the typical 'faganime' actions and mannerisms of the characters--like talking in unison, humor that falls flat, etc...
On my first playthrough, I found the story to be extremely convoluted and dissappointing. After researching a little bit, I've found that it's not actually that fucked up, compared to what's out there it's actually fairly epic--but the writers and scenario directors didn't do a good enough job of explaining it. The first game's plot was fairly straightforward; the second game is filled with 'twists' and 'intrigue' that the player knows little about, but ultimately doesn't care about, and in the end doesn't find out about.
Case in point: Roxas. We're supposed to give a shit about some new guy and care who he is and what happens to him? And then be shocked when !SPOILER ALERT! Roxas is Sora's NoBody! OMG, WTF, who's Roxas?
The worst part of this comes when the twists are exposed. The writers in this game fell for the classic pitfal of 'show don't tell.' Whenever we, the players need to know something, one of the characters clumsily explains it in a cutscene--instead of being allowed to witness it for ourselves in a cutscene.
For all its narrative failings, KHII is a fun and enjoyable game. Gameplay is smoother than the first, and faster, due to expanded menus, customization options, and combat modes, but overall it's shorter due to the lack of space on the PS2's disks.
The gameplay has a few flaws, the biggest of which has less to do with the actual play and more with the levels in which you play. There are too many repeat worlds! We don't need to see atlatica again (especially if we're going to sing...), Halloween town adn agrabah were completely wrapped up the first time and have no need of a weaker, anime inspired story for us to visit them again.
The worlds that were new suffered from a case of anime-ism that made them painful to play through as well.
*
please note that, while I am unfavorably comparing KHII to anime, I am not an anime hater; anime can be very entertaining if done right. my major complaint is that KHII seems to demonstrate only the worst qualities of anime.
The blame for all this rests squarely on the shoulders of Tetsuya Nomura, the game and all its characters' creator. Nomura made KHII for himself--because there were things he wanted to do that he didn't get to do with the original (he said so in interviews), so he made this Kingdom Hearts1.5 in the same vein as Robert Rodriguez's 'El Mariachi 1.5: Desperado.'
On a side note, one of Nomura's problems is that he is falling prey to a lesser known writer's disease: reverse mary sue-ism.
For those of you don't know, Mary Sue is a fictional archetype who is a the author of a story inserted into that story as a character. She is perfect in every way and steals teh love interest and fame from the real main character. Frequently found in fan-fiction.
In reverse mary sue-ism, the author tries to become their most popular, awesomest character--in Nomura's case, Cloud Strife of Final Fantasy VII. There are only two cases of RMSS known to me: Tetsuya Nomura and Alexandre Dumas, who tried to become his eponymous Count of Monte Cristo.
The consequences of RMSS can be dire-- Dumas spent himself out of house and home trying to emulate the lifestyle of his role-model and died in poverty. Let's just hope Nomura doesn't try to inject himself with JENOVA cells...
Before/After
So there's my review of Kingdom Hearts II.
TL;DR? Play it, but skip the cutscenes.
Don't get me wrong; I'm not bashing the KH series. I like it, I own all the games so far and I'm not planning on getting rid of them. I just hope for better in the future.
Hello, readers (my only reader [me, two weeks from now...]) Big news down here in the gulf-- Hurricane Ike cometh. 
As you can see from the weather map, Ike is charging his iLAZORs and focusing them on the coastal bend. Evacuation orders have yet to be issued, but judging from this path projection, it's going to be a big, fiery fucksplosion.
Here is a photo taken from orbit of Hurricane Ike, and although he looks different from space, the threat is no less evident. Projections have it listed as anywhere between a heavy three and a light five.
