You know what I hate?

    How I can never manage to snuff out that last little glimmer of hope in the depths of my cold, black heart. It's maddening. Because no matter how much I know I'm not going to get something, the tiniest part of me still thinks it's possible—AND I HATE IT!!!!

    You see, the problem is it is never possible. It most likely never was. So all the hope does is torment me—gnawing away, growing despite the number of times I step on it—until I accept it. Then, once I find out what I knew all along, my rage and despair is all the greater, not because I had hope snatched away from me, but because I knew all along and couldn't listen.

    They should have concentration camps that you can go to if you don't want to feel anything anymore. The ironic thing is I wouldn't be able to afford it…

My darlings. I’ve murdered them.

Here's a little skit about my current progress editing UHA:

















But I really like that scene. It's funny, and I have good memories characterizing those… characters.










Well how do I fix it?










MURDER?? I can't—but I want the book to be good…



















Well, that was painful, but it probably gets easier. This is why writers have to be sadists. You have to give birth to a bunch of people you really love, force them to undergo the most trying and painful experiences of their life, and then, when they're not working properly, you have to erase them withut a second thought.

Mario! Wario! ...LUCARIO!

I love this song. It won the grammy award. For what, you ask?
For best techno remix EVAR MADE.



In other news, I've applied to a few more jobs, ranging from Gamestop monkey to Drug rehab counselor.
So we'll see what come of that.

I'm going to be doing a special offer for NaNoWriMo this fall; Every participant from Corpus will have the offer for me to make a banner for their signature detailing their book.
Also, now that I have Audacity, I can record my own sound files and hopefully contribute to the podcasts.

I'm addicted to another show...

Code Geass. I've already watched most of it at the link provided above. And as I watched, I noticed that it bars many similarities to the movie V for Vendetta, which I also watched recently.

That's not really a Bad thing, I mean it happens all the time that plots get recycled. Only, in the old days, it would take a decade or so. Maybe a Century. Seems like the Japanese are getting a jump on cultural recycling...

It has other elements, so it's not an outright rip off. I actually think that this is what they ere trying to do with Gundam: Seed, only here, they do it successfully.




Besides, there are other shows that do the same thing, and they're okay. Popular, and also with a coherent and enjoyable plot.

Take Narootoe [sic] for instance.

Facts:
Main Character is an orphan, outcast by society, and bears a strange mark. But he has strange and inexplicable powers...
Around his eleventh year, he is accepted to ninja [wizard] school, where he learns jutsu [magic] and makes friends.
Eventually, the underlying plot is uncovered, revealing the main bad guy, who:
1. Was Sealed away somewhere.
2. Is seeking Immortality.
3. Has a snake fetish.

There are quite few more parallels, and also some significant differences.
I'm not a diehard fan, but I can watch it when it's on and not fly into a rage.



Which is more than I can say for some other shows...

Random style post

I'm plot bunnying again. I've had 4 cool ideas for stories in the last week.
And as usual, I'm shirking my UHA edits.
Here's one of my older aborted ideas...



Sephiroth: The Musical!

I still want to do it someday, but I'll have to play Crisis Core first. Then write some songs.
Then the libretto. It'd be easier with a collaborator.

Hey, Leave me a comment of you want to collaborate!






The ideas currently occupying my brain include:
superheroes
jukebox musicals
sports dramas
short story spinoffs of UHA


In other news, I'm still looking for a job, but now I have less idea than ever what I want to do. Besides writing, I mean, but I don't want that as my real job...

So here's a list of jobs I would be enjoy:
archaeologist/adventurer
supervillain
lounge singer
guy who makes babies cry on film (I think they call it, 'baby wrangler')
consultant
pirate or privateer
psychopomp
funeral photographer
internert meme
cartoon character
voice over guy in movie trailers

...that's a pretty good list. Maybe I should start my own careers institute. Be my own boss.

Well, that's it until I decide to put something cooler on here..

Picture Dump Day!

It's a scrumptious, sumptuous, dumptuous day!
Here's the cover I imagined for my novel.
Here's the poster for UHA, the one I'm always talking about editing, but never actually editing...
Here's a poster I made for UHA2, the little sequel that could
This is the promo banner for UHA3, My nanowrimo 2008 project

UHA Logo

The Harrowing Story of My NaNoWriMo Victory

I had spent all of October in the magic, fantastical Limbo that comes only from a writing project you cannot do anything but work on. It wasn’t planned. The Idea morphed from a short story I wrote into this unstoppable beast with songs, and art, and me staying up all night, every night—awakening at 4:30am to scribble down good rhyme schemes or bits of dialogue—skipping class, and meals, and work too, when I could avoid it…

But I knew I had to have it complete by the time November began, or shelve it and lose this burst of creativity forever.

I almost made it.

November came, and I dutifully laid my one-true-love aside for the beginnings of my second NaNo.

I hated it.

The story, a sequel to my previous NaNo winning narrative, had rested in the back corner of my brain’s refrigerator, and was now covered with green fuzz, and unappetizing.

I stayed with it anyway.

Eventually (obstinately), I managed to choke it down. It became bearable. Barely. And as I inched closer to the finish line, in spite of the miraculous recoveries I made after multiple week long hiatuses, I developed a love, if not for the whole book, then at least for certain well-written scenes. And with three days left I had ten thousand words to go. It seemed that, like Laverne and Shirley, I was gonna make it after all.

Then disaster struck.

About an hour into my evening writing session, my vintage 1997 laptop suffered a heart breaking accident. An accident so minor, and yet with such catastrophic ramifications, it plunged the whole of my writing career into jeopardy, and me into a blind, screaming rage.

It was close to midnight on the twenty-seventh. I had a little more than seven thousand words to go. And the spacebar—the one thing I needed to type more than one word for the whole rest of the novel—had broken. It was beyond my ability to repair, and my options were few; my desktop had a non-functional floppy disk drive and matching broken USB hubs. I had been moving files off and onto it from a personal wiki website, but the laptop was too old for internet. It seemed that with nothing more I could do that night, I would have to retreat temporarily to the solace of sleep, conceding defeat in the battle, but vowing to return the next day with reinforcements.

“NO!!!” screamed the raging, livid temper in my head. “John, if you put this down now—if you walk away and leave this for later—you will never finish it. You know the driving principle, the very reason for NaNoWriMo’s existence: ‘Later Never Comes.’”

“You’re right, voce of rage,” I said, gathering my willpower and searching the floor for my clothes. “I have to end this tonight.

“If I want to win this war, I have to do this tonight.”

The laptop’s spacebar was broken, but its floppy drive still worked. I hurriedly loaded my unfinished story onto a battered floppy disk and headed out the door.

To the University.

It was too late for the library to be open, but the classrooms were often left unlocked on weeknights. I had snuck in many a time before to watch movies on the colossal projection screen.

But the last time I had been caught.

Luck was in my favor as I pried apart the sliding doors, their motion sensors asleep. Unseen, I made my way to the biggest classroom on campus. A sea of empty chairs stared back at me in the dim light. I took my seat at the teacher’s desk, logged on to the computer, and began my work.

It seemed the very world and all that was in it was against my completing this novel. Outside, the frigid November wind screamed its protest. My fingers were numb from waking through it, and the keyboard was foreign and uninviting. The fluorescent lights flickered, threatening to leave me in darkness. And all the while the sea of silent seats, staring like sentinels, looked on, waiting to see my failure.

I finished at 4:30am.

And I liked it. My story no longer made me cringe because the ending I had written—laden as I was with pressure, nerves, drowsiness, and fear of getting caught—was outstanding. And it should be noted that I don’t use caffeine when writing. I uploaded my novel to NaNo word counter and my private wiki. I had achieved the impossible.

It was going to be a good day.

But I would end up sleeping through most of it.