Okay, so here's what I'm thinking...

I've got this idea, see...
I want to do a serialized fiction on a new blog. i have an idea for teh story, and i'm gonna go ahead and save project Gold for future NaNoWriMo's.


But i think that right now my life is in a bit too much upheaval. You know, living with my dad, looking for work, all this crap. On the surface, since i have oodles of free time it seems like the perfect time to write, right? but in order to work my best, i need structure. and that's what's seriously lacking for me right now.

So, starting whenever i get a job adn get settled in somewhere-- (and that could be anywhere from a matter of weeks to two years, depending on which plan i choose) get ready for fiction, the likes of which yout've never seen!

Banner for UHA3

I made it in GIMP to post as my signature on NANOWRIMO's forums in the fall.
what do you think?









is it too busy? it think it may be a little too busy, but it's good for a first draft.
it's fairly symbolic; fans of the original will have some inkling of what's going to happen (if any of them ever make it here to read it...)
yeah, as it says on the picture, all your questions will be answered. probably. all MY questions will be answered, anyway, adn if your questions are my questions, prepare for answers.

even thought it will be the last book in the series, i still have plans to write at least three short stories to fill in the gaps. they will all take place before the events of the UHA1, so it will be a lot different adn a little bit of a challenge for me, but you can find out more about them if ou happen to have membership to my special, super-exclusive UHA wiki!

only 10 spots are available, and most of them are filled, although none of them ever visit besides me, so if you get to be my really close freind, adn promise to visit every day adn contribute your little ass off, i'll bump one of them for you.

Also, it's a little reaching, but just in case anyone actually does read this, does anyone know if i can host files on this blog? is there any way? i'm pretty sure there's not, but it never hurts to ask.
if it turns out to be possible, i can put all kinds of great stuff up here- pics, e-books, ... pics of e-books?
okay,so i only really have two KINDS of things to download, but i have loads of those.

if it's unpossible, though, i'll just post some more up here.
until later.

A real treat, I guess...

so anyway, because i'm so paranoid about my stuff being stolen, or unviable for publication, i don't post a lot of my a-game here. i hope you'll forgive me, but today, i've dredged up something from the past: a fake newspaper i created for my history and systems of psychology class!

it's a peice of work, i'm very proud of, but i couldn't preserve the formatting and most of the pictures are gone, so I'll be posting it piecemeal.

hope you enjoy it!

Article previews:

The Arts

Man Farts Loudly, Laughs Full Story, pg C2

Science pg F19

Fake Newspapers Are Stupid, Experts Say

The Arts Man Farts Loudly, Laughs Full Story, pg C2

Your Number One Source for Lies and Slander

The Anachronistic Times

VOL. I….No. 1 GREGORIAN CALENAR 1950 FIFTEEN BUCKS

Articles:

Happy Birthday, VW Microbus!

The successor to the widely popular German beetle rolled off the assembly line today, and future filthy hippies rejoice. This icon of counterculture was designed by Ben Pon, who was looking for a way to increase the beetle’s aerodynamic performance. The Volkswagen type 2, or, kombinationskraftwagen, is likely a stepping stone for future automotive designers everywhere. The vehicle has ample room for both passengers and cargo, with a sleek profile, all from the good folks who brought you World War II!

Pat Benetar Still 3 Years Away From Being Born

Seers of the future agree with statesmen of the obvious, singing sensation Patricia Mae “Pat Benetar” Arezejewsky has not been born yet, and will continue to remain unborn for a further three years. Those that are particularly adept at reading the future suggest that she will be born in Lindenhurst, New York where she will study opera, divorce her high school sweet heart, marry her bassist, and eventually run with the shadows of the night.

Disney’s Cinderella #1 Movie of the Year

The first big hit since Snow White and the first full length feature since Bambi, Walt Disney’s latest cinematic vision is the top grossing film this year. Based on the Charles Perrault fairy tale, this charming tale of child abuse recalls the legend of the proverbial redheaded stepchild (though it’s really more of a strawberry blonde) as she struggles to marry a rich and powerful man with the aid of anthropomorphic rodents and a mystically obese, gibberish spouting benefactor who looks like my grandma. Premiering on Feb. 14^th, the film cost $3,000,000 dollars to make and featured three directors. It was also the first animated film wherein an unprecedented 90% of footage was animated using live action modeling beforehand. All that live action work begs the question, “Why animate the damn thing anyway?” While plans for two sequels are already in development, Disney plans to take a break from the Cinderella trilogy to pursue other stories.

It’s fortunate that this movie was a success, because without its box office revenues, Disney would likely have sunk and future classics like, The Black Cauldron and Tron will never have come to be.

Researchers Discover Amazing New Device under Couch Cushion

In an attempt to find change for the snack machine, engineers at the Zenith Radio Corporation excavated the area underneath the office couch only to find a device they call a “television remote control.” Apparently, this unique device allows its wielder to alter the volume or change the channel without having to move. Although at this stage, the remote remains connected to the television via an umbilical cable, Zenith plans to improve upon the model.

“We were planning on adding more buttons with different functions; like for instance a button that allows you to punch the person on screen in the face, or a switch that will control a pyrotechnic mechanism that shoots flames at you on the couch. Right now we’re beta testing a button we affectionately call, ‘bitch, get me a beer’ but the results are unfavorable so far.”

“Thank God we won’t have to walk to the TV anymore,” says Irma G. as she stuffs cheetos into her mouth, “my feet were killing me; I mean foot. I still get phantom limb syndrome even though I lost the right one to diabetes.” Irma’s joy is shared throughout the nation today, a truly momentous day for lazy people everywhere.

Carl Gustav Jung on Carl Gustav Jung: An Interview

By John Ellis

I recently sat down with renowned former disciple of Freud and suspected Nazi sympathizer, C.G. Jung in a revealing tell all interview.

No Photo Available

Me: Professor Jung, first may I say what a privilege it is for you to agree to peak with me.

C.G.: Thank you, the pleasure is mine. Its not every day that I get to meet the 105^th most influential man in history.

Me: So how’s India this time of year?

C.G.: Very nice, thanks. Emma and I are having a lot of fun. It has actually inspired my latest lecture series at Yale.

Me: Really? What about?

C.G.: The thin line between psychology and religion.

Me: Sounds intriguing. You’ve made many contributions to the field of psychology, but one that people find most difficult to accept is the concept of the collective unconscious.

C.G. Jung: You must have noticed that occasionally one may dream of a thing which he has never seen or heard of before. How do we account for such things? Just as animals are born with instincts, man must have a hidden community experience, passed on through heredity. It makes perfect sense.

Me: But psychological images and situations are much more complex than reflexes and instincts, aren’t they? How could you compare these two groups of things?

C.G.: Well, you’ve made a common mistake; I only meant the collective unconscious theory as a means to explain the similarities between different people’s dreams and fiction: you can’t deny the evidence is there.

Me: Sort of like your theory of synchronicity?

C.G.: Sort of, but that deals with real life, where the collective unconscious deals with dreams. Also, in dreams the meaning of the symbols is predetermined; with synchronicity, the meaning is ascribed by the individual.

Me: I want to switch gears for a moment. During the war, you were the editor for a Nazi newsletter, and recommended Mein Kampf as recommended reading. What is your response to these claims?

C.G.: Yes, well they’re both indisputable facts. In my defense I would like to point out that I only did that to the Germans from destroying psychology. At the time, it was viewed as a “Jewish science,” preposterous that there could be such a thing, and I did what I could to help the Nazi’s accept it. And I did it with the aid and support of my Jewish friends and colleagues. The years of World War II were times we all wish we could put behind us. They were times when many men were forced to do things they weren’t proud of, but we all made it through and humanity as a whole is smarter for it.

In 1943 I helped the united states’ OSS by analyzing the third reich’s top men.

Me: Who?

C.G. (looking pointedly at me): Top. Men.

Me: Before you go, I had dream that has been confusing me.

C.G.: Shoot.

Me: I was playing a videogame that degenerated into a documentary about Bugs Bunny.

C.G. and I then go through a lengthy word association session.

C.G.: I think you watch too much TV.

So there you have it. Not bad, Eh? sorry if the layout is confusing.

Awesomeness!

I JUST wrote another fairy tale! and this one's a real winner, just like 'Ruthless.' maybe i'll post one of them on here.

updates all around, i've got a new photoediting program called GIMP. it's pretty sweet, all the sweeter since it's free. so anyway, because of that, look forward to new site headers.

i've applied to a pretty good job in boston. this one looks awesome, and i've got a contact on the inside, so it'd be great if i get it, though i don't want to jinx anything.

apart from that, i just can't stop thinking about WALL*E. it's a really great movie, and i've been to see it twice. it's a shame that the DVD doesn't come out till november, but at least that way, it'll be ready for my use with NANOWRIMO. Inspiration ahoy!

so, good stuff!

the reason why

well, i'm back from my vacation and i had a good time.
if the mood strikes, i'll tell you all about it.

but first, 've been catching a little flack from some other sites about my typing.

namely, how a guy who claims to be a writer never uses capitalizations and who's writing is riddled with typo's.
well, these are semi-valid concerns, and by semi valid, i mean not valid.

this is the internet, guys. you don't waste a-game on the internet; even if anybody did read this, the mere act of theme being on the internet makes them less of a person. it's not worth it to take the time every time to properly format adn spell check each of the articles i write, because this blog is never going to be marketable, and i could spend htat time looking at porn, or spell checking that novel i've been working on.

and besides, at the end of teh day i'm doing this for me. not you. so i only need live up to MY stadnards. not yours.

oh, and that's right, i said 'stadnards.'
what are you gonna do about it?

...melancholy update...

hey, folks. me again and i'm starting to lose hope. adn get bored.

the hard copy proofreading is't going as quickly for the second revision of UHA.

i still don't have a job.

i filled out an application to the CELTA program, but in doing so, felt a lot less confident about my odds of getting in. now i feel less confident about almost everything.

went to an al-anon meeting at a church today. it was all about god-style bullshit. i'm not that troubled by my parents' problems anymore, i just wish there was one person in the world i knew i could trust.

but... whatever.

i'll soon be gone for four days for the fourth of july family reunion where i will have to fend off the congratulations and probing questions of a dozen family members i don't know the names of.
maybe i can hide... it won't work for very long, especially not at meal times...

maybe i can be scary. that'll pretty much rule out any chance have to unwind, though...
maybe i can just skip most of it. actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea...
i can try to do some more proofreading...

well, i feel better now. but not much. later, bitches.

U H A ! U H A ! U H A !

i have been editing my ass off for teh last three days and i finally reached the end of the original manuscript. and i think i speak for everyone who's ever read the novel when i say, FUCK YEAH!

in case i neglected to mention it before, UHA is the first in a series of novels i am writing. UHA2 is complete and out for testing, but it is on hiatus until i have time to look at it. UHA1, i am actively editing, and UHA3 is to be completed this November, during National Novel Writing Month.

so, my plans from here are as follows:

1) take the revised manuscript and add a few necessary scenes, possibly rewrite the opening.
2) print the revised, v.2 manuscript and mark it up
3) complete rerevisions to get v.3 manuscript
4) send to agents
5) ????
6) profit.

i am excited. it's great to have something to do, adn to see progres being made.

i'm going to a party later tonight, so i may have another post.
Laters!