So Nanowrimo's here again. Pardon the low post count, but I've been, like really busy.
But what was, until recently my favorite time of year is here again and I've been writing a novel for the past two weeks. Only thing is I hate it.
It fucking sucks.
I started, having this great idea all year long, then abandoning it the last second before day 1 because I thought it was too similar to one of my favorite cartoon shows. So i came up with another idea and got really excited about that about a week before November. I actually wrote the first few chapters during week one.
That sucked. It was going to be shit, I could tell, I couldn't inject suspense into every day situations more than a handful of times, which was what I needed to do for a whole book.
So then I tried Project: Gold My unicorn story. The story I've begun several times, and each one I get fed up and hate it and I quit.
Great choice right?
The characters are all on dimensional, the dialogue jumps around to whatever I feel like, and I hate writing it. I HATE IT!
I hate it more than I.M. Meen hates clever children...
So I'm thinking of quitting.I'm a municipal liaison, one of the people in charge, this year but it sucks. Everything I tried to do fell through because I didn't have enough time with work. and since I live out of town, i can't go to the write ins they have during the week. and since Beeville is such a shitstain, there's no place therein i can write comfortably. I don't even enjoy the NAnowrimo meetings anymore. I sat through the one today just wishing everyone would shut up and leave me alone.
I used to live for the meetings.
Maybe I'm just having a shitty day. Some buttfucked peice of human cuntswallop woke me up at god knows what time on SATURDAY!!!! by tapping on my bedroom window. I ignored the hell out of whoever the dumb fucker was, but they still woke me up, ruined my sleep, and I guess My whole day.
Now all I can think of is hatred and rage.
fuck this shit.
So I'm thinking of quitting. part of me knows that If I do, this story will have bested me again, but If i don't I may never want to try to write this story the right way.
Project gold won't really work as a novel, because I intended it to be a videogame. so what do I do? keep writing something which will, inevitably be worthless?
Maybe it's not about the destination, it's about the journey, but right now, I really need to have something in hand to validate my tremendous exertions.
I'll let you know what I decide... fuckers
